Going back to California! After a stint living in St. Petersburg, FL, and getting my degree in NY (thanks for the cheap education and high taxes suckers).  Staying FAR FAR FAR away from SoCal and moving to the Bay Area, however, I am afraid that Oakland has turned/is turning into Williamsburg, Brooklyn.  I have never been to Oakland before (moving for political and educational/career reasons), it just seems like EVERYONE I know is moving there.  But at least none of them I know have within them the bad taste of dressing like Annie Hall or Mrs. Keaton from Family Ties or that dorky gril in your 3rd grade class who always wore glasses that were too big and who's only fashion claim was some ugly headband (yes, that was me!) and I don't want to fucking revert back to ugliness, awkwardness bad taste and I sure as hell do not want to raid the closet of the Golden Girls in my prime physical years to find high waisted, ugly ass clothing that only belongs on refugees whom have no other options.  Yet, these refugees are far more stylish than you, Midwestern cunt who was on Peoples Court today, who moves to Brooklyn and complains about muggin and "shady people".  It's called NYC you dumb bitch!  And there was a reason why so many people moved out 35 years ago and fled upstate and to NJ, because it was dangerous, drugged up and dirty, duh! So take your fucking ugly $500 handbag, your fucking $2000 laptop, your shit brown leather accessories, and your pleated mommy pants that give your 102 lb. frame a "gunt" and go back where you came from!!!

All you do is drive up rent in NYC, gentrify unique neighborhoods and MAKE UPSTATE NY'er's LIKE MY MOTHER, A STATE EMPLOYEE, PAY $6K a YEAR IN TAXES ON A $200K home, FUCK YOU!!!.  You are not "Hip", you are a fucking YUPPIE!  GO BACK TO Wisconsin or wherever the fuck you are from and KEEP OUTTA MY STATE!  Oh yeah, and whats this fake accent you put on like you are trying to be some fucking Rothschild who landed on Plymouth Rock w/ the first Mayflower?  My family DID LAND on Plymouth Rock and the last 3 generations of my family WERE BORN IN NYC AND SOUND NOTHING LIKE YOU, (my Borincan famalia and my white family included)!  You are shitting up NYC AND driving up NY state taxes!!!, You have the fucking balls to call yourself a "New Yorker" because mommy and daddy paid your rent the first 18 months you lived there, yet you A) Never took a NYS Regents Exam in High School (which are hell if you did graduate in NY and know what I mean), B) Never had to pay almost $300 just to get your first Driver's License at 16 or 18 (depending on where you live in NY, bet you didn't know that either huh?) and C) Don't know ANYONE who lives upstate.  If you cannot claim at least 2/3 of those, than I am sorry, you are not a New Yorker just because of your zip code and the fact that now you can say "Fuck" and "Shit" in polite conversations (oh, how novel that must be for you now that you are out of your small, shitty hometown!). 

I WANTED to move to Coney Island, my grandfather was born and raised there and there are good, hardworking teaching jobs there that I qualify for, but you fucking assholes drove up all the rents in NYC and now I have to find some other place to live because NY state taxes are allocated to make your fucking neighborhoods more affluent, rather than paying NY Public School Teachers a good fucking wage and Upstate NY  HAS BEEN SUFFERING FOR DECADES.  That's OK, because I know how much NY state sucks now, and I know that IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.  NYC is fucking Disney World now, with a cop on every block, so have fun suckers!  In closing,  you are certainly NOT a NY'er if this post hurts your feelings!